We all need tools to fill up our cup.
If you are raising a child with special needs learning to pause will be your survival tool for the rest of your life.
Magic Moments help me stay sane in the extraordinary challenge of raising my daughter.
If you’re dealing with the overwhelm from daily life, or with loss and grief you must learn to pause and make yourself a priority again and again.
I’m no stranger to loss.
It was a hot summer day in August of 1990. We had moved to the United States from Germany a year before.
At 8:15 pm on August eights my daughter Sarina was born four months early, weighing only one pound and fifteen ounces. She barely had a chance to live through the night. Everything changed drastically for me. My world fell apart.
As a mother raising a child with severe health challenges my personal time collapsed into caring for her. The dream I was holding to have a happy family with four healthy kids in tow shattered.
I had to create a new way of living.
Losing ourselves happens in any devastating experience we’re going through. Tragedy takes over our lives, and we leave ourselves behind. As we grieve our loss, when everything falls apart, we need to slowly find our way back to create meaning and joy in the life we do have.
When my daughter, now twenty-eight moved back home about a year ago because her independent living program failed to support her, I was immediately in a crisis. The empty nest I had been working really hard for was full again. My newfound freedom to teach yoga, write my book and spend undisturbed time with my husband had to be put on hold. Again.
Sarina was without a day structure and besides her strong wish to be independent, she does not self-monitor herself. She cannot manage her day alone. Someone needs to hold things together for her or her life falls apart.
Living with her as a special adult doubled the challenges I faced when she was a child.
We had moved to a new city, my husband suffered from PTSS, and I became the 24/7 caretaker once more. Without friends or family or any support established it brought me to my knees. I was so exhausted, dark thoughts had an easy way to enter my mind; I wanted to give up. My daughter’s limitations became mine.
After all the tears were cried, I got up and remembered:
If the thought of getting through the next hour feels unbearable, I can try to get through the next minute. Sometimes to pause for a breath or two saved me from giving up.
My magic moments are my survival tool.
To create tiny islands that belong to me and to me alone is why I thrive and have the strength to move on. To get up after I fall. They are like stars in the sky. They help me shine, energized my body, mind, and spirit when the demands feel unbearable.
We need to have time to feel ourselves.
It’s critical to not fall into victim mode. Victim mode kills the next step we could be doing to save ourselves.
To breath, be mindful and to slow down is a lifesaver for me. I have learned, that I need to love myself enough to not let my obstacles run the show. My magic moments help me do just that.
To P a u s e is my mantra. And little moments, that aren’t little are my survival tools. They belong to me like the breath I take. They help me to honor the part of my life not connected to be a mother. And, they give me the energy to be the mother my daughter needs and deserves.
In the pause
- I refill my cup.
- I connect with myself. Feel my body, notice my breath, acknowledge my feelings.
- I feel connected to my source again.
Here is my # 1 pause:
Magic in the Shower
-PDF for printing is attached below
Instead, to continue to think of the million things on my to-list or my despair I step into my to-be list
once the water is turned on. I love to wash away the stories my body and mind cling to. I step into my senses and into the present moment on the spot. Water is a great metaphor to help me do that. It hasn’t failed me. The success is in my smile.
🚿 Stand facing the shower head and allow the water to run down directly onto the back of the neck. Focus on feeling the water on your back for a few moments.
⭐️ Let your shoulders drop
⭐️ Let go of everything else you might be holding on to by relaxing
your hands and your grip
⭐️ Take three deep breaths – feel yourself breath
⭐️ Listen to the water
⭐️ Feel it touch your skin. Feel the temperature of the water
⭐️ Smell the aroma of the soap
⭐️ close your eyes and feel. Cry or sing or smile.
Become super aware of everything you are feeling and experiencing at that moment. No judgment needed. Just being present!
Take this peaceful moment with you on your day.
💡 I believe in visualization. When challenged during the day, I close my eyes, take a deep breath and visualize this moment.
It’s a charm you own.
Pause – Please!
🌷”I DON’T SHINE IF YOU DON’T SHINE!”
PS: You can skip knowing that but don’t skip your charm. We have seven main energy centers in our body called Chakras. Another one worth understanding is an energy center right where the neck meets the head. It’s called the Cerebellum Chakra. When this energy center is strong, it manifests as feeling in touch and inspired by our dreams. It lets us access our soul contract. Connects us to our intuitive voice.
PPS: I love to hear from you. Do you experience Magic in the Shower? Or have little moments that help you keep your cup full? Share them with me!
Is a writer and Yoga teacher/therapist BDY/EY, C-IAYT. With roots in Germany she now lives with her husband and daughter in Santa Rosa, CA. She is the mother of a micro preemie girl and shares her healing journey in her blogs and teachings. She offers her transformational Yoga and Mindfulness lessons in workshops and private sessions. Her newly developed transformational program for special moms like her now has a dedicated private Facebook group you can join: https://bit.ly/2Oa0T60
Connect with her here:
NEWSLETTER: Sign up here