January 9th, 2020

Dear Sarina,

 

I’m taking my hands off the steering wheel!

It’s my birthday ๐ŸŽ‰ tomorrow, and I have one big fat wish:

๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿผ I want to go to Nia dancing at 9 am. And only you can make this wish come true.

I want to dance my heart out, feel my sweat crawl down my spine, and make my hair stand up in spikes. Don’t you love this?

I want my heart to skip a few beats, my knees to tremble, and let my butterflies go wild in my belly. And then set them free!

“Go!” I hear you say. โ€œHow?โ€ I whisper. I only can go when I can trust you. Remember trust is a picky thing, once it breaks itโ€™s a big deal to win it back. You know what I mean.

๐Ÿ’—Tomorrow I will trust!

I know you don’t like to hear this, but so far, you let me down in the morning. ย Think of today. Not getting up is not an option. There are no excuses, only consequences. ๐Ÿ˜š

I want you to manage your morning. Every morning. You got this!

I know you want to, but your brain gets distracted. I understand it isn’t easy for you to discern, but my beautiful girl, it’s a life skill you must master. Get up on time, forget your phone and the newspaper, lean onto your list, and you’ll be the queen of your life!

I want you to succeed! I want to be the proudest ๐ŸŽถhallelujah singing mom on earth tomorrow.

I want to come home to an empty house. Dishes in the dishwasher, room and bathroom spic and span. And everything you need for the day in your possession. House key! Don’t forget that key! ๐Ÿ˜œ Oh, and sorry, but I must mention: close the door. Make sure it’s locked.โ˜บ๏ธ

I will do summersaults, visit my trees, write until there is no ink left in the computer ๐Ÿ˜‚ . Iโ€™ll take a delicious peppermint-lemon scented foam bath. Then sparkle together with the sunset ๐ŸŒ… and Hugo the ๐ŸŒณ and you and dad into the night!

I want to hug you tight. Can you feel it, Sarina?ย  Add dark chocolate and a sip of the ruby red dream we both like ๐Ÿท.ย  We’re both made in heaven, and tomorrow is on us!

I want to start my new year with a gigantic smile and rock my universe into a surprise. Blow kisses and fancy letters into the sky:

Look! It’s me, I am free!

๐Ÿ’—Mschen

PS: Your list holds everything you need! Use your timers ๐Ÿ˜‰

PPS: Call Lyft at 9:45 am, (๐Ÿ’ธ on me) don’t forget your lunch ๐Ÿ˜…

PPPS: I love you to the moon and back ๐ŸŒ›

 

NOTE:ย  This letter is part of a series “When you need your friends. Letters from a mom of an adult daughter on the spectrum.”