Do you have dreams?

I’m participating in a monthlong experience with Mel Robbins “Best Decade Ever” – Dream bigger.

I signed up for it against my commitment to shrink my to-do list.

Why?

  1. The program states: “dream the big, huge, out of this world… dream… ” and that triggered me. I have this big dream and have not manifested it.
  2. I believe in this next decade. By the end of it, I will be 74, sit by the fire on January 10th with the love of my life. Tears on the cheeks, sparks in the belly. Our eyes will meet: “Look at Sarina, she made it!”
  3. The program is free. Self-paced.

My motto for 2020 is “Hands off the steering wheel.” I shared it with you in last week’s whisper. I want to stick to my belief that nothing is impossible.

And that has everything to do with the big fat dream I have been dreaming for over ten years:

“I will be an EMPTY NESTER.”

But I’m not.

At times I didn’t know if anyone close to me still believes in this dream.

Did I?

I’m thinking.

See, and that bothers me. I can’t give you an immediate bright big fat YES.

My yes feels more like a whisper. But I don’t have a soar throat.

Soar throat. You want to speak, but everything hurts. Each word feels forced, painful, exhausting. It’s smarter to shut up and let the vocal cords heal.

That’s what I feel happened to my dream. It became exhausting to dream it, too many no’s, lost opportunities, and so it shrank. The dream lost its voice.

I feel betrayed. I’m angry because it’s a money thing. Please don’t shake your head no. IT. IS. A. MONEY. THING.

Money. Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy an apartment for my daughter. Money can hire a companion. A skilled and soulful woman with guts and sparks. With the courage and mission to change the world. And she starts her mission with Sarina. She is my double 😉. Think Anni Sullivan and Helen Keller.

I don’t let anyone put doubt in my head. This dream is possible.

And this is why I will grow my dream back to be big, fat, and out of this world fabulous.

So, dear universe, if I take my hands off the steering wheel, I need you to do some driving. I’m ready for your magic. And I’m not holding a crutch that I felt you let me down. I need my dream this year, not at the end, I’m already over the middle, so why not now?

Last. I’m always in awe of how this life works. On my drive home today, I picked  Bobby McGee – my go-to mood lifter song- I pushed play and heard a different yet familiar tune. I looked at my phone: “Dream on.” Aerosmith was playing. 🎶😆

At home, I got my mail and found a package. A gift from my friend Shirley 💗. A journal: “Follow your dreams.” 

Yes, I do have a dream.

Yes, it’s a big, huge, out of this world dream.

Yes, it’s possible!

Will you dream with me?

How about your dream?

🌴 Mini Tiny Island

Pause a moment. Close your eyes and breathe. Is there a dream that pops up? Breathe.

Breath out doubt with a big haaaaaa.

Breathe in a big fat yes.

Repeat every morning and night and in between!

Let’s embrace our dreams together.