It’s Tuesday morning, 4:30 am and I’m at my desk. The full moon woke me early. I love it. Mornings are my time; I get a taste of my “Empty Nester Dream.” I can write before the sky turns on its light, and my duty is calling. I need to do what mothers do – help their kids get ready for school. It doesn’t matter that there is no school and my kid will be thirty soon. I’m a special needs mom. Life has different rules for me.
I knew this week’s whisper would be about grief. No, nothing new happened – this darkness was brought on by exhaustion; too much 24/7 with my girl at home. Quarantine delivered by this virus.
The grieving yesterday felt like someone was throwing the dice at me. Whoever the players, they were shaking them in their hand for too long to toss them with a fierce and rattling sound at my heart finally. It cracked open some scars, and the demons appeared. Held back tears exploded down my face, unstoppable doing their cleansing. Special-needs-care-taker blues; this grief overwhelmed me all day long on Monday.
But today is Tuesday. And I remember demons don’t like fresh air. They shrink away in fear by the vastness of the sky. As soon as I see the morning sky shine its light I’m taking the leftover grief on a walk.
It’s never all about one grief alone. When the heart weeps it’s triggered to bring up all the tears that need to be cried about all our losses. At my dad’s funeral I couldn’t contain myself. All the people I lost including my mom who had passed almost eight years earlier showed up demanding my tears.
After we spend some time crawling through the shadows, we get to stand in the sun again. I read this somewhere and adapted it to my way of living.
“Grief is how we love in the face of loss,“ wrote Joan Sutherland.
We must choose love for this route to live on. We are more than our circumstances. If the victim mode appears, breathe it away. It’s useless. We have our breaths to remind us we are alive. If you’re grieving as you read this please, put your hands to your heart and…
Pause with me here.
Let’s celebrate a 🌴Tiny Island moment.
💙Hands to heart – close your eyes.
💙Feel it? It’s beating in there!
💙You are alive. This is your present moment to feel this.
💙Focus on your next exhalation. Let it go.
💙Breathe in gently but deeply.
💙Pause at the top of the inhale. One. Two.
💙Exhale again. Let go.
💙Pause again at the bottom of your exhale. One. Tow
Here is what I can do when grief hits: I lean into it, let it move through my veins, feel it, and finally release it. Then I invite in its sibling’s named love and joy. I believe grief acts as a catalyst for us to be able to see and create the next step. It’s not here to drown us but invite us to move closer to our hearts whispers.
It helps me understand myself better and accept my destiny. It’s how I know why I’m here:
I want to let love and joy win. They will always embrace my grief. They will support me to keep believing in my dream.
Please have the courage to come along with me.
Don’t close off. Bloom!
If I can, you can too.
Take a walk with me, let joy win a good part of your day. Remember, demons don’t like fresh air!
🌷Always with love,
P.S. Please check out my media page on my website. It’s growing. You’ll have access to my 8-minute Mindfulness Yoga sequence and the beautiful brand new ebook “A Day of Complete Self-Care Online Event,” where I was a presenter on April 26, 2020: https://manuelarohr.com/media/
P.P.S. Join me Tuesdays and Thursdays at 11 am P.T. on zoom for one hour to let yoga and mindfulness transform your day
P.P.P.S. My new book „The Ultimate Guide to Self Healing“ is so much more than I imagined. The combined healing power of 25 healers turned it into an #1 International Bestseller! Drop me a note if you want a signed copy from me or grab one here: https://manuelarohr.com/books/
Please leave a review if you have read the book and loved it. It’s how we stay in the top list on Amazon. Thank you!